Saturday, 5 June 2010

Small price to pay

On Wednesday, I had a dreadful shock. The awful shootings in Cumbria were horrific enough, but upon phoning my ex in South Lakes to check he knew (he didn't), he then told me in a very shaky voice that my 12 yo was with friends on the coast, about 10 miles from Whitehaven. The next few hours were some of the worst of my life, as he located her, had her taken to someplace safe, and then finally, we were told that the gunman had been found dead. I was weak with relief. Somehow, I got through the next three hours trying to catch up with the work that I had missed, until eventually at 5.30pm, I was spent - emotionally and mentally. I switched off my computer, grabbed my dog, and headed out into the sunshine for a walk.

I had been trying to call my husband all day to appraise him of the situation (he told me later I was overreacting) and called him again as I was leaving the house to check when he'd be home, but there was no answer. Half an hour later, when I was sitting with my dog admiring the view, he called me to tell me he was home. Clearly annoyed I wasn't there to greet him, so I invited him to join me, but he declined, saying he was too tired. I finished my walk, and headed home with some trepidation about what mood I would find him in....

When I got home, he was clearly not happy with me. I tried to keep things light. "What would you like for supper darling?" I asked him in a bright voice. We had little fresh in the fridge (mea culpa) so I offered to pop out to the local supermarket to pick some things up. I then got back, unpacked it all, cooked him a lovely meal and served it to him on his knee in front of the tv.

At 9.30pm, my lovely 14 yo waltzes through the door, just back from a school trip to Disneyland. Tired, but full of news to tell me about what they'd got up to, where they'd been, who had done what to whom, etc. Sensing my husband's displeasure, I took her into the kitchen where she told me all about it. I put on a pizza for her, and we had a lovely girly chat. When she'd finished, I invited her into the living room, but realised my mistake straight away by the look on his face. He didn't want her there. Within ten minutes, he'd gone to bed in a mood.

We snuggled up on the sofa together and watched Junior Apprentice. Lovely.

But I would pay for it later.

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