Sunday, 16 May 2010

I need a break

I told him today that I needed a few days away. He said he felt that I was trying to punish him. I just need to get away - just me and our little dog (who he hates) with no particular place to go, laptop and books in my case.
Just have to work out a plan for it to happen.


  1. I hope you manage to get more then a few days away! It sounds like a lifetime away is needed!

  2. uh.... perfect opportunity to have this go from "to get away" to a getaway. A permanent one.

    The whole "punish him" comment, is a way to get you to feel guilty.

    I worked didn't it?...

  3. Correction: *It worked didn't it?...

  4. Don't listen to what your hubby says. He's tryin to punish you and make you feel guilty for his failings and how he's treated you.

    The fact that he nearly killed you both in the car should speak volumes.

    Do what Travis has said: try and use this as a permanent escape.

  5. Be very careful about anything your husband says, unfortunately this is a very typical response in these situations - the need to make you feel guilty. Everyone has the right to take time out. You don't control how that 'makes him feel'. Only he does. If he was not feeling unhappy or guilty why would he assume that time you need for yourself has anything to do with him at all? Please be careful though, it's a dangerous desperate stage this point of splitting. Be resolute and remember your first responsibility is to ensure your own mental, emotional and physical safety.

  6. WifeNeedsOut, You sound as if you are in a frightening and abusive situation. I would suggest that if you want some support (perhaps information on somewhere safe to stay if that's what you need) then you contact Womens Aid.

    They provide a completely confidential and non-judgemental service and will not tell you what to do, but help you explore your options so that you can come to your own decision.

    I wish you well.

  7. I was also going to ask whether or not there has been abuse going on.

  8. I'm really concerned, I've just read about a trip in the car that I went through many years ago & leaving that person was the best thing I ever did.
    You must just get up and walk away or he'll drag every bit of confidence from you. Just do it. It doesn't matter what you leave behind, you matter, get out.
    Get in the car, just go.
    If you have no financial means walk into a Social services office or citizens advice bureau and tell them you're homeless, they'll give you somewhere to live, happened every day.
    Please do it.
    Take care

  9. Thank you all for your affirming comments, I'm overwhelmed that anyone at all is a) reading this self-pitying drivel and b) cares enough to respond so thank you!

    Funny how when calmness prevails again, and he begs for my forgiveness, I give it wholeheartedly. I told him last night that he nearly robbed my girls of their mum, but he clearly thought I was being melodramatic.
    He went to work calmly today, and much more like the man I fell in love with. He recognises he needs help, and has promised to get it.

    Thank you for all your links too - will read every one of them. Needing all the help I can get right now just to get through each day. xxx