Saturday 15 May 2010

Today was not a good day

In fact, it was one of the worst of our relatively short marriage to date.
We were in the car, on the motorway. The argument had been going on - and off - all day. It was coming to a head. I had already insisted on driving as he was not in a fit state, I said. He acquiesced (unusually). But then he started getting mad - I mean REALLY mad. He began by shouting and swearing at me (I was doing 80mph) then insisting I pull off the motorway. I was scared and said I just wanted to get home. He started screaming at me to pull off, and threatening to yank on the wheel. Through my tears, I refused. He grabbed the handbrake, and I pleaded with him to get off it. I was shaking and the tears were flowing so fast I could hardly see. He screamed at me that he was going to kill me; held his hands out as they would be around my neck. I panicked, and pulled over. He got out of the car and lay on the grass beside the road. All was quiet.

We stayed like that for an hour. Then he got up, got back in the car, and we drove home.

11 comments:

  1. Oh hun.
    Nobody should make you feel like that. Especially when your driving, he could of got you both killed! It's emotional abuse.
    Have you talked about it?

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  2. This is tough and I agree with Jelly Nose that noone should make you feel like this. Get someone to help you, there are lots of people around. You can talk about it to professional who can help you both you know. Good luck lovely xxx

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  3. This situation is only going to get worse. Help yourself ...do you have anyone in whom to confide? Can I help you locate a psychologist? This is not your fault.

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  4. It's just the beginning. It will escalate. It will get worse. He had a right to be afraid if he thought you were going too fast and wouldn't stop the car, but the screaming, yelling, threatening violence ... all tell tale signs of an abusive relationship. If you're looking for motivation to get out, think of what you will do when he's behaving like this with your children. And get out now before you have any with him. Battered women's shelters are there to protect and help; do it now. It will never get easier than it is right now. Every day will be harder to leave.

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  5. Do you have options for getting out? Try to do one thing each day that will get you closer to leaving.

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  6. Seriously... get out now. Before this get's worse... and it will. He has no boundaries.

    It will not take him long before the verbal and emotional violence turns physical. It will not take long. There is no love in his heart, no matter how much he may say it. Nobody can hold two emotions. Anger is never an emotion of love.

    He doesn't love you.

    He is only controlling you for his own personal wants. All of this fear inducing hate, is to keep you in line.

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  7. What Travis said - You need to get out of this relationship/marriage now.

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  8. This is not good, not good at all. I think you know what you need to do, please be brave enough to do it. I've been in the same situation, I'm on twitter if you want to contact me or email me at notsupermum@hotmail.com. Take care.

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  9. Hi I noticed you following me on Twitter. I'm not sure whether you're in the UK or where in the world you are but...there are people who care reading your story here on this blog. I understand your conflict, how you want to get out but you don't know whether you should..whether it really is that bad..I know you're probably thinking: 'can I do something to make it better?'

    Right now you are in a very dangerous position. Both of you are angry and wounded. Wounded animals and people tend to strike out. Please, ring someone you know in the real world tonight. Please ask if you can go there. Give your self and your husband some time to back away from the crisis situation before either of you end up in harm's way.
    Please. If you need someone to talk to dm me on Twitter or email me at vix@vegtemitevix.com Sometimes talking to someone who doesn't know you or your husband can be helpful. Please take of yourself. V x

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  10. As notSupermum said, be brave enough to leave. I was in a bad marriage too, and almost committed suicide to get out of it at age 20. Definitely leave before you fall pregnant. I left with nothing but my wallet and what I was wearing. 10 years later, I don't regret any of the things I lost, I've rebuilt my life, and am happily married to a fantastic person, and have a beautiful baby girl. There is life after THIS. No matter how dark THIS is.

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  11. You're all right, I know you are. You have no reason to lie to me, any of you. You have no reasons to be melodramatic with your advice. I don't think I can find the courage to do it right now, but I hope, with your support, I can find it soon.
    Please don't hate me for being so weak, I will be stronger, I promise.

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